Back Again for the 4th Time?

Really, by now, who's actually counting? It's been a long time since I've updated the blog, I know. And I apologize. I've been busy, you know. Busy not pumping out comics, busy not doing what I love, pretty much just been busy screwing around and not focusing on my talents; these being guitar, goofy-looking comics, and Spanish. Well, time to get in the game. No longer will I let my stoned armadillo and drunk aardvark lie idle. No longer will I allow the carniverous Tyraptorsaurus Rexes roam free amongst my imagination without showing firsthand their carnage on drawn paper. No longer will I stifle my talents with World of Warcraft, alcohol, Cartoon Network, reading, advancing my goals, making cashy money, regaining old friendships...

Shit. I'm beginning to remember why I stopped updating this thing to begin with. You know...if I could actually attribute my absence to any of those things. No, dear readers, it is, for lack of better words, simple laziness and inattention. Well, I'm back. Again.

For, you know...the whatevereth time. Screw it. Bring on the substance-abusing mammals, amphibians, and reptilia. I'm game.

Also, Mister Miller, I may require use of your scanner. My digicam just...just ain't gonna do these comics justice.

Quite Simply In Bad Taste

Sometimes I'll have an idea for a comic, and I'll flesh it out real fast without really thinking about the ramifications of what I've done, or it's future effect on the online community. Afterwards, I'll take a look at my work and the only thing that will come to my mind is, Hmm. I'll try to think of some way to put my thoughts into words, but, still, all I'll be able to come up with is, Hmm. And don't worry, the hospital staff shooed Ray out before he could get his grub on. Those nurses are a shrewd bunch.

Anyway, new times are afoot. My friend Whitney has moved someplace where it would behoove her to have her computer back in her care after so graciously allowing me to hold onto it and use it in my otherwise computerless room. Good times have been had, but all things must end, I suppose. Besides, my roommate Elliott is selling me his Desktop for a cool $350. I'll be able to play Max Payne 2, Starcraft, Call of Duty, and Minesweeper!! For lack of a better adjective, I am stoked.

Well, that's all I've got for now. See ya'll when I see ya. Also, on a minor note, I'm really glad I'm still making these comics.

A Long Time in Coming

I can remember the day when I realized that man had finally created something incredibly beautiful...and then raped it with paper sacks. For a long time, the cinema has been a shining example of what the human race is truly capable of. A second example was shown when mankind invented the spawn of Lucifer himself: the Fandango bags.

My roommate Elliott will at times get a faraway look in his eyes, and an insidious grin will spread across his features, and in these moments, I know exactly what he's thinking of. He dreams of endless fields where these bags are burned, filled with poo, drenched in meat and given to ravenous wolves, hooked up to car batteries and fried to death, their screams echoing forever and ever and the world has never been so beautiful.

I know...because I dream the same dream. And I wake up smiling.

Ecksplisit Kontent

So where exactly do the world's most eligible dino-bachelors go to pick up chicks? Why, the local zoo, of course! The gals don't really respond, and even if they did, it'd be impossible to take them out to dinner without incurring the wrath of local security, or even worse, Animal Control. But at least our pair of heroes get to ogle some fellow Archosaurs. Is that disturbing? Kind of incestual, I guess, but the family is so broad it'd be like sleeping with a fourth cousin. By then you're only related by marriage, anyway. Like in that Jet Li movie, Once Upon a Time in China or something. It was wierd. Good movie, though. Good franchise, actually, because they made four more.

Speaking of Jet Li, in an hour and a half, I'm going to see Forbidden Kingdom. Gonna be awesome, I hope. After that, I'm going to not drink this weekend. I'm excited. Are you excited? Fuck you then. Jerk.

Garcia. OUT!!

Just a Little Two-Fer

Here's a pair of quickies for your reading enjoyment! To all of those interested, Brick was a good movie, and Stealth was awesome, too. Also, Zach Miller is gay. And what is this?! Is my body crying?! Am I going to die? Sweat?! What the hell is sweat?!

(everyone should read Penny Arcade)

No Country for Old Kaijū

There's an old legend that Antoine Chigurh and Chuck Norris passed each other once on a dirt road. Ten minutes after passing each other, Chuck Norris turned around and swung a roundhouse kick in Chigurh's general direction. As the deadly shockwave of nuclear proportions sped towards the man with the worst haircut ever given, Chigurh simply turned around and looked at the imposing blast with dead eyes. Eyes that said "you may be an act more than an object, untouchable by man and practically made by God...but I'll still kill you."

At this, the shockwave dissipated. Chuck Norris felt a sinking feeling after seeing the look in Chigurh's eyes from miles away, turned back around, and kept on walking. Chigurh, meanwhile, continued up the road, where he killed an orphan, three cows, a man grieving in a cemetary, and Tobey Maguire's mom.

I'm not entirely certain why Ray looks up to the Lone Ranger so damn much. Hell, Tonto was the brains of the operation, if you ask me. But hey, to each his own, right? Well, it's been an all right week, but I'm lookin' forward to the weekend. See ya'll when I see ya!

Family History

You would think that dinosaurs who have figured out the intracacies of computer software, video games, color television, and the dreaded Half-Windsor would simply go to FamilyTree.com or some other such website, and trace their roots back to the Jurassic era. Or Cretaceous. When the hell did these guys live? Who knows. Yes, I see you raising your hand over there. No, I don't care.

So I saw 21 today. I was impressed. It wasn't the best movie I've ever seen, but it was definitely worth the cash. It's like when you watch Ocean's 13, and you think to yourself, There's no way that this could possibly all work out exactly like that. Only Ocean's 13 was a little better.

Well, this is a short one. It's been a long week, with plenty of surprises, some good, some bad. I'm just tired, both physically and emotionally, and I'm ready for the weekend. Woo. See ya'll later.